Interracial marriage is all about accepting differences and appreciating similarities. People from different countries have different uniqueness, and when you marry someone from the different country you have to expect many challenges, you have to be patient and understanding with each other. In this topic, I’m going to discuss what to expect when you marry a Filipina. But please keep in mind that this is just based on my own experience and some friends experience and it’s also based on my own opinion, you might agree or disagree to this topic that is why let’s get started.
When You Marry A Filipina, You Marry The Entire Family
They say when you marry a Filipina it also means you marry the entire family; I can say it’s true at some point. But it doesn’t mean it happens to all westerner who married a Filipina. You have to know the Filipino culture has strong family ties, Filipino are family oriented and family is very important to them, they are very close to each other, they have loved and care for each other and when someone in the family is broken or in trouble, they have no doubt to help each other. In Philippines culture they are expected to care for their parents until they grow older not necessarily with just money, even the eldest daughter or eldest siblings can carry huge obligation for the family, they can sacrifice their teenage life and be a breadwinner of the family when the parents are gone or if the parents can’t provide the life that they wanted to be. While in western civilization when the kids grow up they can choose to live on their own and they can choose to do whatever they want like separate to the house of their parents or work for their self. Many westerners complain about supporting their Filipina wife’s family, this issue is a must talk. It’s not bad to show empathy to your Filipina wife family, yes you can offer help and support to her family but please be honest, tell her that you don’t have much money and you can help her family but you can just give the amount that you can, explain to her that you also care to her family but that’s all you can give. Most westerners are very familiar to the poverty in the Philippines that is why they have helping hand to open with the needy family of their wives, but you also have to limit your generosity, I mean don’t teach your wife family to just depending on you and your wife, it’s not bad to support them but limit the amount you can give. Remember that they are not your wife’s obligation once she gets married and they are not your obligation though, but because you two love them and you have empathy to them go ahead and give help but know your limit and if the western husband said NO I don’t want to help your family they are not my obligation, it is a red flag. Because it also means you don’t have empathy and care to other people, what if one of your western family member needs help and then you ask help to your Filipina wife but her answer is NO I don’t care they are not my obligation, what would you feel about that.
Expect Tampo (Sulking Or Silent Treatment)
Tampo is very well-known in the Philippines, not just for a woman but even to men. Tampo is cultural behavior that often uses when Filipina is mad. In western when a problem occurs they want to resolve it right away unlike in the Philippines if we get offended or any reason that makes us tampo we will just stop talking and keep silent until we feel relieved. Sometimes, if Filipino are tampo they will just walk away or will just stay in the room the whole day. For example, your Filipina wife tell you I want something like chocolates or flowers but you just ignore it, expect that the tampo will suddenly occur and for you to be noticed that she is sulking (tampo) she will stop talking and remain silent the whole time you are together. That’s what we called tampo, and for you to deal with it just back off and let her keep silent until she relieved. Filipino also value important dates like anniversary, birthday etc. we didn’t expect expensive gifts but showing a simple gesture to your Filipina partners like greet her or bring her somewhere or if no budget for going out just make a small effort like cook for her or let her cook whatever she wants, by doing that she will surely appreciate you. Some Filipino men used to bribe their Filipina Gf/wife when they know that their Gf/wife is being tampo, but westerner don’t know how to deal with it because they are very much confronting problem and for the westerner tampo is just something that a lot of Filipina’s used to be childish and they don’t want to put up with that crap. But to be honest tampo behavior is just the way of Filipina shows to the person that this person did something wrong to them, they can’t speak up because they want the guy to figure out the reason of Tampo on his own. The other way to deal with tampo is just been around with her, you don’t have to talk to her if she doesn’t want to talk to you but show your respect to her. Or show some sweetness, because she maybe wants you to be sweet to her and want your attention, give her a hug and tell her how much you love her and much better say sorry if you did something wrong to her. For sure, she will be fine after you do that, you don’t have to nag her or start fighting when she is in a tampo mode because eventually she will be OK just give her a break and be patient to understand her. But if she still not talking for few days or more that’s not Tampo, it’s already a problem, quarrel or misunderstanding because tampo is just a simple thing and not really a serious problem that can be resolve after she calms down and relieves.
Filipina is the type of person who gets jealous easily, they said when your fiancée/wife get jealous it means she really loves you and she cares for you. If she is not a jealous person it means she doesn’t care about you. But in my opinion, you cannot blame Filipina wife to get jealous when you are talking or chatting other Filipina because there are some cases that other Filipina who is related to the western Filipina wife can steal their husband. To her it means other Filipina can flirt with you, can back fight your wife and tell you bad things about her until you believe. And because you are fragile and can fall into her trap you will end up cheating your Filipina wife until you finally fall in love with this common friend. So if your Pinay wife asks you to stop chatting fellow Filipina just follow her, unless she gave you permission. Filipina has very good intuition so do not hide anything from them. If you love your Pinay wife you can tell her that her common friend or family chatted you, be honest to her, show her what her friend told you. By doing that you can avoid her getting jealous and thinking negatively towards you. But if the jealousy problem of your wife is too exaggerated at some point that she gets jealous even without valid reason please be aware to that maybe because she is just asking your attention and for her to get your attention she makes any reason to be jealous, that is the jealous type that you have to stop.
Cooking Strong Smell Food
When you marry a Filipina expect the stinky strong smell of food she is cooking and eating, you can’t show your disappointment with that because their food might smell bad to you but for them it was OK, for example, she cooks dried fish, dried fish has a very strong smell but you should never complain about it because that what she wants to eat, this is Filipino used to eat in the country. You marry a Filipina so accept what she loves and enjoy eating and you have to get used to the smell of their food and if you can’t take the smell or can’t take to eat it you can tell her Honey, please cook your favorite dried fish when I’m not home simple as that. She is an understanding person so for sure, she gonna understand what you wish her to do.
Eating Rice Everyday
When you marry a Filipina expect that there is always rice in the kitchen, never complain about her eating white rice because ever since she is a baby until you met her she used to eat rice. She cannot avoid eating it I assure that unless she really wants to stop and forget eating it. If you are worried about her health because she is eating white rice, don’t worry she knows her limitation for sure. For the westerner white rice is not really healthy that is why your husband might tell you to stop eating white rice, that’s OK he is just concern to you so don’t feel tampo right away. Just explain to him that you cannot live without rice but you have to just eat a small amount of rice for the sake of your health and his concern to you.
Filipina Love Karaoke
When you marry a Filipina expect that she loves singing in a karaoke, expect that when there is a party with fellow Filipina they always love to sing. You are lucky if your Filipina wife doesn’t like to sing it means the noisy karaoke in your house will not gonna happen lol!. Westerner loves quiet time after work especially weekends so it’s a big change for them to have a Filipina wife love noisy karaoke.
She Speaks Tagalog All The Time
Don’t complain when your wife speak Tagalog in your home especially if she is with other Filipina friends or calling family in the Philippines. Tagalog is her first language and please understand that she is having a hard time to speak English many times. We know that speaking Tagalog in front of other race is not nice and rude but you are husband so be understandable to her just tell her it’s OK to you that she speaks Tagalog when you are the only westerner but please do not speak Tagalog if there are other people who don’t understand Tagalog. But actually you must also learn Tagalog for you to be able to understand her and can communicate easily and for you to be able to also understand her how hard to learn and speak a second language.
Sending Money To Family
When you marry a Filipina expect that she wants to send money to her family, as I mention earlier helping family in the Philippines is part of the culture and I can say part of their obligation especially if they know that their family in the Philippines is having difficulties. At this point, you can’t complain about her helping them but you can tell her that you can help her family but in just a limited amount. And if she is working and don’t depend on you when helping her family you can’t really complain how much she wants to send to her family, but as husband you have the right to advise her to do the right thing like advise her to save for herself or do not send all her paycheck to her family please think her future too. You know that Filipino value family but teach her how to limit her financial support to her family, tell her not to teach her family to be lazy in a good way and a gentle tone.
She Always Cleaning The House And Organized
You might not agree with this but most Filipina has always wanted a clean house, most Filipina that I have talk was so shock to the house of their American guy husband when they arrived in the US from the Philippines. Because we used to see the clean house when we are visiting somebody in the Philippines, it means if Filipino expected visitor they automatically gonna clean their house as much as they can. So we all have one reaction to the messy house of our husband, but of course Filipina will not gonna tolerating the messy house, Filipina will always do the cleaning and organizing the house and we all know that it’s a wife duty, maintaining the cleanliness of the house it’s not easy especially if there are kids but Filipina have long patient to this.
Those are just a few items to the list of What To Expect When You Marry A Filipina. Always remember that there are also a few cultural differences you have to embrace if you want to keep your wife happy and avoid misunderstanding. And the biggest thing is family because most Filipina is under pressure from her family in the Philippines to provide for them but I’m not saying all Filipinas but most of them are experiencing pressure to provide for the family back home. Here is my piece of advice, once you found Filipina wife please tell her that you are not rich, tell her to explain to her family that you are just an ordinary man in your country because Filipino always think that white guy is rich. But they just think of that because sometimes most westerners are very generous. They thought foreigners are rich because the can give away stuff to them and can give away money to others. I just hope those stereotype of Pinoy about white guy will change but I understand that a Filipina wife can’t stop helping the family because Filipino value the family but I hope the family in the Philippines will be much grateful and appreciated to all Filipina wife who is still helping the family despite the fact that they already have their own family to other countries.
If you have any comment or you want to share your experience about this topic don’t hesitate to comment below.
Thanks a lot